Monday, August 31, 2009

Indulgent Reflections

It's been a busy week. On Thursday, in the "first milestone since graduating high school that has been me feel pretty fucking old" category, we drove to Vermont to drop my baby brother off at college. Baby being relative, of course, seeing as the boy is 18 and about 8 inches taller than me. Nonetheless, I felt more than a reasonable amount of sadness upon leaving him all by his lonesome in a dorm room that is perhaps tinier than my Hayden Hall one from three years ago but definitely more social, as when we left he already had 4 "friends" and I'm pretty sure when my family left me at NYU I had 0. So that's good. And, as Dan helpfully pointed out, I'm the one who had the nerve to pack up and leave first, so it's not like I can feel betrayed or's not like we've lived in the same house for three years now. But what can I say? I have far more motherly feelings towards my baby bro than is normal, and I worry about him and care about him and I just want him to love college and grow into his own and keep writing and be awesome. Which he will be, so I should shut up and stop worrying.

A fun, true, FML-this-is-pathetically-accurate, story: we drove past the UVM rugby team practicing on a random field and Dan pointed it out. My dad got a very confused look and was like, "Wait, those aren't college boys! They're so big!" To which I had to explain, no, they are college boys, my dad is just used to the emaciated hipster boys populating the streets of NYC, his only other reference to college. I am seriously contemplating moving to Vermont, or like, Minnesota after graduation, simply so I can attempt to secure a burly sexy mountain man. Then of course I will have to lure him back to New York, because I don't think I could really make do with a place where "downtown" indicates four restaurants and a few karaoke bars, but really, I have never seen men in New York who compare to the kind they were harvesting in Vermont. So, states where farmland exists, watch out...I might be coming to borrow some men post-grad!

Anyway after we dropped Dan off, to distract my mother from impending suicide at the thought of being an empty-nester, we drove up to the Birkshires to see James Taylor in concert with Sheryl Crow and Yo Yo Ma. Which was, as could be expected, absolutely glorious. The Birkshires is another place where I could see myself after graduation. You know, lounging about in a cute bed and breakfast, forcing random townspeople to pose in the wilderness a la a Norman Rockwell painting, finding myself a husband...all valid ways to wile away my time as my undergrad degree (presuming I manage to procure one, please god let me graduate in May) goes to waste. I kid, I kid...kind of.

Now I'm back in Newton for one more night (read: 5 more hours and I'm still not packed!) before driving back to the city and moving into my brand new first real big girl apartment! Which currently has no furniture. And no internet. And possibly no heat, though I guess that's not much of a problem on August 31. Point is, I shouldn't really be blogging, but I probably won't get a chance to hop on line for the next few days (anyone who knows me will understand when I say I absolutely cannot relax until things are at least vaguely organized at my new place.) I do intend to keep up with the blog though, and now that school's about to start I'm hoping my desire to procrastinate writing my thesis all year long combined with an enforced schedule will help kick my ass into gear. So get ready for lots of rambling over here and hopefully some coherent stuff over at NYULocal, which I am attempting to contribute to for the third time and plan to actually follow through with this time around (third time's a charm blah blah blah right? Right.)

I feel good about everything coming my way. Yeah, it's fucking terrifying that in one week I start the last year of my undergraduate experience, but at the same time, I'm ready for everything. I feel zen about the future, calm about my probable lack of employment after graduation, and just incredibly excited about everything that's coming up before all that. Bring it on, Fall 2009. I can take you on! But first I have to finish packing, otherwise I will never get to you.

Ready, break.


Sarah Alaoui said...

how do you like NYU btw? sometimes i wonder if i should've gone there...

Vanessa said...

I like it a lot, but it definitely took some getting used to. Lots of red tape, bureaucracy, etc...probably the same as any big private institution, I just wasn't necessarily prepared for it at age 17 when I got here. It's also strange to live in the city--most days I love it but I do sometimes wonder what it would have been like to go to "real" college.

Where do you go?

Sarah Alaoui said...

I go to UCSD, going to be a sophomore this coming year...I always wanted to go to a school in New York but when I got in,the thought was scary and I stayed in California, lol : )