Thursday, January 29, 2009

Melting pot background reveals potential career path?


*Clarification: I am an American permanent resident, but a Canadian citizen. That means I couldn't vote in the election (which actually bummed me out way more than I thought it would) but both my states went blue anyway, and people actually like me when I go abroad and have to show my passport, even for the past 8 years. Yay!

Vote for Diana and Mike to go cover the Oscars!

Yo, you know what's kind of really freaking cool? mtvU is sending three teams of college students (2 person per team, 6 in total) to LA to take part in Oscar weekend festivities this year!

But you know what's even cooler? Of these three teams, one will get to be mtvU's official Red Carpet Correspondent, interviewing the stars at the 81st Annual Academy Awards on February 22nd.

And the coolest part? I know one of the top ten finalists, she's the shit, and you can help her win!

I met Diana Snyder by chance this year, lucky for me; she's roommates with my friend Rebecca and super outgoing and friendly. It took us literally one meeting to hit it off; now we're at the point where we stop on the street and interrupt our own phone conversations to chat–she's that fucking awesome! Also, very qualified. She is a film major at NYU, extremely charismatic (and not that it should matter, but it must be said, incredibly beautiful!), has been hosting her own TV show for four years, and is clearly the best choice for this gig. (No, I'm not biased. Duh.) Plus, how cool will it be when NYULocal has another sweet story to run about our talented students (Diana gets to bring a cameraman, NYU freshman Mike Ren, with her!) doing wild, impressive things?!

So get on mtvU's website, and start voting for Diana! If you're ethical and want to check out all 10 finalist videos first, I suppose you can do that too, but I've checked them out to save you the work and trust me: Diana Snyder and Mike Ren are the dream team we want at the Oscars this year. (Yes, I've included the link an absurd amount of times. Yes, I think you should definitely click on it! Multiple times! Every day! Twice a day! Any time you smoke a cigarette! Yeah NYU smokers, I'm lookin' at you...)

Vote 'cause you miss me, and Diana's hot, and you wanna be able to tell your friends that the college girl on the red carpet goes to your school (or goes to the school of some girl whose blog you read...love you non-NYU readers!). Whatever your reason, it doesn't matter. Just do it. Because remember kids: YES WE CAN! Keep the spirit alive, even when Obama disappoints. But that's a post for another day. 

Monday, January 26, 2009

I guess I have a lot of things to say to old, ahem, "loves"

I only wish this were true! I also wish I had thought up that site on my own–it's clearly going to become a coffee table book, and sadly, I will probably buy it. See if you can figure out which contribution is mine; as of today (Tuesday 26th) it's still on the front page. I'm not sure if I should be pleased, embarrassed, or depressed that my past loves can be summed up into "pithy, specific" notes deemed worthy of posting on the Internet. I guess I should just be grateful that my note doesn't read like this gem: "You're 24. My sister is 15. Why the hell did you add her on Facebook when you and I haven't even been Facebook friends in two years, let alone regular friends?"

The Millenial Way

1999: Look through the phonebook to find a new friend's number.
2009: Stalk around on Facebook to find a new friend's screenname.

Also: proof that I'm making a few friends in London! Glorious!

Bop bop bop, bop to the top(shop)

Observations brought about by Today's Very Cultural Outing, or, A Visit To TopShop:

One: There seems to be a restaurant or cafe in every single clothing shop here. That's obviously an overstatement, but really, aside from malls at home (which obviously include food courts and restaurants), I've never experienced so much synergy between the retail and food markets. I guess it makes sense: hungry customers don't wait in ridiculous lines to try on overpriced blouses

Two: I wanted to purchase approximately 89% of Topshop. This includes shoes, bags, accessories, although I would say if I had to split up the merchandise I would say I want to buy 100% of their shoes, 50% of their bags and accessories, and 75% of their clothing. I have yet to make a single purchase because I fear once I start I won't be able to stop, and although the dollar is doing well, and although 45 pounds sounds a lot more reasonable than 450 pounds (a la some of the "sale" pieces we saw at Harrods yesterday), the truth is that as of right now, 45 pounds is still $63, and I can't exactly go around buying millions of $63 shirts. No matter how cute they are, and how much I want to look like a Londoner (aka, a rock star.)

Three: Yes, I believe the Londoners dress like rock stars. Well, the ones who are my age, anyway. Em pointed out that it's sort of easier for them to look ridiculously cool because instead of thrifting and such like one must do in New York to look "original" (ie not an AA clone), here one can just pop into Top Shop and you've got yourself a crazy-craze outfit ready made. That's a good point, but I also think there's something different about these ladies and the way they view style. They rock unnecessary bows like it's their job, manage funky bangs even in rainy conditions that leave my hair looking like a mop head, and literally run around the streets in the highest, funkiest colored heels. I'm not knocking New York style, and I don't even necessarily believe that these London lasses always look good. But they definitely do look interesting, and they know it, and they love it. There's something to be said for that. 

Sunday, January 25, 2009

The Good Life

Just a Fact

Guys, I really really like it here. I'm settling in more and more every day, and I know I won't even really be settled until next month at the earliest, so it's only going to keep getting better and better. Plus I haven't really even started traveling outside of London yet (Amsterdam and Dublin, etc, here I come!) so the super cool stuff is all to come. But I miss New York.

It confuses me that people are weirded out/concerned when I say this, because I don't think it's a problem at all. Traveling abroad is an amazing opportunity that not everyone is lucky enough to have, and I'm so grateful to be here, but there's nothing wrong with missing home. 

A girl I am becoming friends with here, Molly, pointed out that the really nice part about loving the place you call home is that when you return from your crazy travels, you can still be excited to be back. I suppose some find it oxymoronic to adore both home and traveling, but I think Molly's right: it just makes all aspects of the process enjoyable.

New York City is the best place in the world. It's just a fact. So who wouldn't miss it? I think I'm luckier than most to know that when I return from this amazing adventure, I'll just have even more waiting for me, right at my (cramped, overpriced, potentially-roach-infested apartment's) doorstep.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Why I love Sam, Reason 783

One of my closest friend's at home, Sam, wrote a post yesterday that almost made me cry. I don't think he intended it to, but the first paragraph was one of the most meaningful things I've ever read. I often describe Sam as one of my most tolerant friends; he proved that I'm right.
I consider myself a feminist. Before a few years ago I never even considered that a man could be a feminist, but after befriending a few people, it just became natural that I would consider myself a feminist the same way I consider myself pro-LGBT, or pro-anything else. [LOLSAM]
This led into his thoughts about Caroline Kennedy, so it wasn't as though Sam was writing a whole feminist manifesto or anything, but these few qualifying sentences are so heartening. Obviously I know Sam, and I know he's the best, but I've never heard him explain how he came to consider himself a feminist. 

I guess it was just so exciting to read because I'm so used to people promising me I will never find male feminists. When I expressed my strong desire to marry a man only if he believes in feminism the way I do, a girl in my sorority scoffed at me. "Vanessa," she said slowly, as though speaking to a small child. "That's not gonna happen. You're not getting married then. Men. Aren't. Feminists. You'll never find a guy who says he is." When I protested, saying I was pretty sure that after living with me and engaging in many debates and conversations, my little brother would identify as a feminist, she shook her head. "No, he doesn't identify as a feminist. He's just scared of you." Then she went and made out with a frat guy who definitely doesn't consider himself a feminist, and that was that.

I know most guys out there aren't yet ready to label themselves "feminists." I think that's probably because of the misuse and misconstruction of the word and its ideals. And I know Sam is gay, so unfortunately for me, he has no interest in marrying me. But his simple explanation behind his own feminism is enough to convince me that there must be some other guys out there, gay and straight, who can identify with the word, because all it stands for is equality. So that is hopeful.

Incase it's not clear: aside from making me psyched about future potential marriage prospects, this whole thing just makes me even prouder to be one of Sam's friends. But I mean, duh.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

"So you're a bit self-centered and full of yourself then?"

I vowed this wouldn't become a travel blog, but it turns out it mostly has to be about London, because that's the only life I'm living right now, so that's the only one I have anything to say about. It's strange, how that works. I figured anything travel-blog-esque would be boring because who cares about what I'm doing in London, but if that theory holds true, then why would New York be any different? Who cares what I'm doing/thinking/writing any of the time?! And yet the Millenials blog on... 

Somewhat relevant tangent: I met an Australian man at a pub the other night and when he heard I was an English major he inquired what I'd like to actually do for a living. When I explained that I write, he asked if I was a journalist, and when I said no, I mostly focus on creative non-fiction, and making the personal universal and all that, he replied: "Oh, so you're a bit self-centered and full of yourself then?" I am taking comfort in the fact that he chose to make this face when I captured him on camera:
Then again, perhaps he's just mocking me further. Anyway! I've been here for more than a week now and I can finally say I'm feeling settled. About 100 things hit me every day that I'd love to blog about, but I literally find myself busy at all times. Even when I get home I feel pressure to hang out with people in the dorms; it's a bit like freshman year all over again, because so many people are new/open to meeting new friends right now, but I feel as though that window will only stay open for so long...pretty soon cliques will be formed and it will be just like NYU in the city, with people going around in packs of 3-4, occasionally drunkenly interacting with the other packs, but mostly keeping to themselves. I have no problem being by myself (in fact, I enjoy and treasure my alone time) but I would like the luxury of at least a few friends here. Not that I'm not making any. I just mean...oh nevermind.

For my own sake as much as anyone else's, a short list of things I'd like to touch upon in the very near future: Obama's Inauguration, my discomfort with the intense celebrity status the media has heaped onto Obama, my ethics class, hilarious advice from my mother, and why it is sometimes embarrassing to be an American abroad. Oh, and I'll also be revisiting a post I wrote a little while ago, because I think I've changed my mind.

But for now, the time stamp lies. It is really 2:30am here in rainy yet glorious London, and I have to wake up at 8 to take a day trip (via boat!) to Greenwich. Which is to say: good night.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

The sign-off in an email from the director of housing in the NYU London dorms:

"Have a unique* and enjoyable day."

*Good advice at all times, but particularly easy to follow through with while abroad. And the adventures continue...

Monday, January 19, 2009

Why London is Just Like New England, part 1

A short conversation with my next door neighbor that encapsulates my life currently better than any post ever could:

Friday, January 16, 2009

Bloody wine, etc.

Grocery shopping is hard here. Nothing is called normal names (a thumb tack is a drawing pin) and I can't find cheap hangers anywhere and an angry dignified looking British man was rude to me in line, urging me to "put your things in the bag, alright, so we don't all have to wait!" Except my things were in the bag.

Then we walked back to the dorms and my shopping bag had a hole in it so a bottle of wine dropped out the bottom, landing on the stairs and shattering into a million shards. The smell was divine which was even more upsetting because it probably would have been delicious (four pound, cheapo) wine. A hurried-looking British woman scurried by and said loudly, "Why did she drop a bloody wine bottle on those stairs!" Like I did it on purpose.

Also: I've discovered that the secret to my happiness includes only: straight hair, white wine, and peanut butter. A girl here said that's great because it means I'm emotionally uncomplicated, but I don't think that's true. I think it just means I'm practical, and also vain.

Now I need a nap before I can take on this town and it's angry citizens. Maybe they're just not down with Americans, or maybe it's just not my day.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

London: sexy, but unsurprising

Hello lovelies! So here I am in London and things are...not that different. I can get Internet easily in my apartment, everyone speaks English (in a much sexier accent than the US, but the words hold the same meaning), and I'm still a judgmental bitch. Same old, same old.

I really like my roommate (thank god) and I've made a few other friends. I'm impressed with everyone's ability to be friendly. I am trying not to jump to conclusions (that's where the judgmental bitch part comes in) because I don't want to miss out on cool people by alienating them, and I don't want to get stuck with lame people by being overly friendly. Basically I'm just trying to be nice to everyone and going with the flow. Very unlike me but quite successful thus far.

But really, culture shock hasn't hit me yet. I can purchase peanut butter (LOVE the Whole Foods here) and although I blew a fuse trying to plug in an American power bar, everything else works with an adaptor. Tonight I debate the need for feminism at a pub with a hot American frat boy, and we agreed that while there is no equivalently demeaning word for "slut" for a boy, he argued that ultimately women may end up ahead because they are so dedicated to doing well/shutting down the gender stereotype. He challenged me to think about the ratio of boys to girls I see in my classes, in honors program, even in the library. I'm not sure he's right but it was an interesting discussion. Then a sexy older British man came over and asked what we were discussing, and when I responded, "feminism," he let out a yelp and said, "You must be college students! I don't have those kind of talks, I'm in the army!" So you know...same old.

I'm excited for this adventure. I'm grateful that it's only the beginning and I have the next four months to look forward to. And for the record, lest this be too travel-bloggish...I totally support Natalie Dylan's decision/business proposition. Only wish I'd gotten 3 million for mine!

PS: One of the "Google Keywords" that someone typed in yesterday to end up at my blog was this phrase: "Things people do when they try to convince themselves that they are no longer in love." When you type that into Google, my blog pops up. If nothing else, that right there is proof that we are all the same and nothing ever changes.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Cheerio!

3am on the night (morning?) before I leave and I'm still not totally packed. Typical.

I am obsessed with a few new things these days. Taylor Swift, for one. Also Dear Old Love. Incase you haven't seen this little gem yet, people basically send in witty one liners they wish they could say to their old loves. Pretty straight forward. I finally sat down and sent a few in, and although I thought all three of my selections were HA-larious, only one got published. Still, it's a goodie: "When you said 'I love you,' you forgot to say, 'But I love drugs more.'" LOL my love life is so sad. Etc etc. Anyway it's great. Check out the site.

This is really just a teeny tiny note meant to inform y'all that although I am leaving for London tomorrow, this blog will not become a travel blog. Nor will I be starting a separate travel blog. For the most part, I hate travel blogs. Unless you are my friend, (and apparently in Denmark?) I don't give a shit about what you're doing in Country X. Oh, unless you're particularly witty. Then I don't mind either. But basically, yeah, travel blogs bore me to death. So this will just be the regular ol' blog (which may also be deathly boring, perhaps, but at least it attempts to be more than a log of events), I'll just be in London. Brilliant.

See you next across the pond!

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Timeless, III

I'm posting excerpts from old journals that I'm actually not 100% embarrassed to have written in a three part series of posts. They all sort of have to do with time and my anxiety regarding the passing of it. See full explanation in the italicized portion of this post.

April 20th 2008
Also: the problem with all the things I want to do is they clash with other things I want to do and idyllic scenes I've built up in my head about what life can hopefully be like and I'm scared that all the paths lead to a dead end, or not so much a dead end but more of some separate mazes, and once I pick one to muddle my life through I won't be able to get out and choose another one. Of course that's totally ridiculous and if we're continuing with the maze metaphor then I'm sure there will be holes and bridges and places to just fucking run out of the lines over and into some new lines, like the kind of lines in coloring book mazes, not lines of coke...I think it's not normal to be this scared of the future, because then what the fuck is the present?

May 29th 2008
Dad's advice: never be searching for something perfect because it doesn't exist and when we can realize that we can be happy, because we stop seeking the impossible.

Timeless, II

I'm posting excerpts from old journals that I'm actually not 100% embarrassed to have written in a three part series of posts. They all sort of have to do with time and my anxiety regarding the passing of it. See full explanation in the italicized portion of this post.

February 15th 2007
I miss some people I was once upon a time very close with...But I've realized that life is pretty circular and the one good thing about the Internet is you can generally find that weird kid with the locker next to yours from 3rd grade, the one who picked his nose, and if you can find HIM, you can find anyone. So I never fear that I will NEVER EVER SEE SOMEONE EVER AGAIN. It just like...goes. You know?

Later that day
...then I got weirded out that I was making plans to attend a music festival for four days the year of my brother's high school graduation, but I mean my family is already planning a South Africa trip for 2010 so I don't even know...it seems like years have no value anymore, it used to be like "Oh my god, a whole YEAR!" but now it's just sort of like "Oops, where did all that time go."

Timeless, I

Thanks to my obsessive journaling over the past ten years, I'm lucky enough to be able to review how I was feeling at most junctures in my life. Some things are hilarious and deserve to be mocked (or in some cases straight up burned), but sometimes I read something over that I wrote a few years back and I find myself grinning, because I know if given the opportunity to write about the same thing today, I would construct the sentence in the exact same way, saying the exact same thing. Basically since getting to NYU I've had a fixation with time and the way it works, and an anxiety about dealing with the future in relation to the present. These next few posts include excerpts from my real life journal, something that deserves a lot more of my attention this year. They are all sentiments that still ring true for me. I love that no matter how much we grow and change, sometimes it seems as though really, nothing changes at all.

March 27th 2007
...By then, a whole new group of ex-Southies will be heading off on their own adventures. It's so strange how that just happens every year. I can't quite get a grip on time. If I think about it too hard I just end up baffled beyond belief, unable to even move because how strange is it that at this very second something is going on with every single human being on the planet. I just can't wrap my mind around it. This year truly feels like it's gone by faster than any one I've experienced before it. Maybe it has.

April 20th 2008
And I don't care if they say you can't really be in love if it's not reciprocated, because you can. And love at 16 is just as, if not more, real than love at 36. Or something. You know.

Friday, January 9, 2009

Mooning over MK

I always complain about not having a good Halloween costume. This year I was particularly lame as I basically used the holiday as an excuse to make my only AA purchase of the semester, so I had to work around a slutty black dress when it came to making my costume. I had grand plans to be a zombie, but while some girls seem to look super sexy in dead-person makeup, it turns out I'm not one of them. So I threw on a witch's hat, lined my lips with black eyeliner and called it a night.

I've spent the past three November 1st's chastising myself for not being as creative and inventive as the people I see on the streets (my dear friend Sam, circa freshman year, comes to mind) of New York. I always vow that I'll start thinking months in advance for the next Halloween and definitely hold my own in the crowd. So far, this vow has not been fulfilled. But no more! I've found the perfect costume for next year, inspired by my One True Love. No, I don't have a new boyfriend. I mean Mary Kate, obviously.

I'll never be able to explain why exactly I'm obsessed with MK. I'm sure my obsession would not endear me to her, so sadly we'll probably never be BFF, which of course is the ultimate goal. But I know that since 2nd grade when we played "Mary Kate and Ashley" on the playground (weird?) I only wanted to be MK. I was actually the only girl who didn't want to be Ashley. This suited me, seeing as I fancied myself a unique individual even back in the day...so I loved being the sole MK running around with 9 Ashley's (yes, there really were only 10 girls in the 40 person grade at my Jewish day school in Toronto...best guy to girl odds I'll ever have in my entire life? Yes, probably.) So my love must be deeper than the well-dressed-yet-cracked-out-ano-artsy-Bohemian image MK presents to the tabloids today, because I was already on the bandwagon when her hobbies included "horseback riding" and she was a self-proclaimed "tomboy." (Mary Kate and Ashley Fan Club trading cards including info about each girl: so key for delving into the souls of my childhood idols.) Regardless, MK has always been my favorite female celeb. And seeing as I don't really do celeb guy crushes (I much prefer to lust over men I actually know yet still can't have) that basically makes her my favorite celeb, period. So it makes sense that she would inspire my costume for Halloween 2009.

She. Is. So. Fucking. Hot. So it's decided. This coming year, I will be the moon. Specifically, Mary Kate The Moon. I will ask to be referred to by that title all evening. Get ready. Who wants to be my sunshine? 

What Sarah Said

I thought I'd be able to avoid writing about Sarah Palin for a while, seeing as Obama hasn't eve officially taken office yet, but she's making it pretty difficult. Honestly, now that she's safely far away from the White House, I can't work up too much hatred for her; she's just an ignorant, cutesy, annoying woman–but she's not threatening me directly, and actually, as a good friend pointed out, I think she turned so many would-be McCain supporters off the Republican ticket that really I should probably be thanking her.

That said, my friend Sam put together a very concise, speak-for-itself response to a clip of a Palin interview that was just released. The interview was done by John Ziegler, for his documentary-in-the-making, Media Malpractice. Check out the clips Sam provides for comparisons sake along with his post, and then be thankful that such a hypocrite was not elected into the vice presidency, aka second-in-line-to-run-the-country (behind an old dude.) And to Sarah: do not fuck with Hillary. I may be very pleased about Obama, but Hillary was my girl and always will be, so back it to Alaska and get the fuck out of the press, mkay? Thanks!

Thursday, January 8, 2009

2009 Resolutions for this blog

1. More photos. I'm going abroad, so I'm hoping I don't have so much time to waste away in front of my computer. I'm also hoping I get a chance to fall back in love with photography; I'm bringing four cameras and a shitload of film, so I'm crossing my fingers. The combination of these facts will hopefully ensure more photos.

2. Shorter posts. I tend to ramble, and I hear in the blogosphere the ideal length to shoot for is 350 words. To that I say: LOL! I'm sure I'll be closer to 600-800 every post, but I do vow to try and not go above 1000 in the year 2009. Brevity is the soul of wit and all that, and also the stuff I have to say is probably not worthy of 1000 words, so who am I kidding.

3. More networking. There are so many amazing young bloggers out there, and I'd like to connect with more of them, not just people I know or people who live in New York. College blog networks facilitate this, but I'd like to actively do some of it on my own.

4. Keep it up! On February 10th I will have had this blog for a year. It's been through a few changes but I've come to love it and rely on it, and I have no plans of quitting anytime soon.

Struggling

The only thing I want to write about is Israel, and I am finding it really difficult. The major problem on both sides, in my opinion, is over-simplification of facts. The major problem in my head is sorting out all the complications and trying to figure out what it all means, both to me and to the world.

I'm not sure what the post I want to write really looks like. I'm not sure if it would delve into my own opinions on the situation, both past and current. I'm not sure if it would be condemning the people who protest Israel's actions in ways that are hateful toward Israel, Jews, and Judaism (protesting with hate will never achieve peace.) I'm not sure if it would be a personal self-reflection, how difficult I've found it conversing with people I usually see eye to eye with only to find them talking down to me like I am an unfeeling, intolerant, hateful human being because I do not "support Gaza" in this mess. On that note, I've also found it difficult to read news sources (granted, I'm using the term "news source" loosely) that I usually agree with (hello, liberal left leaning America!) and find commenters working themselves up into a frenzy against people like me. I am not used to being against the Left, and I'm suddenly understanding what the Right said during the election when they asserted that liberals tend to talk down to anyone who does not share their opinion. This attitude of "I am 100% right" has got to stop, because when it comes to the Middle East, nothing is that simple.

I visited Israel this summer on a Birthright trip and one of the places we visited was a cemetery where soldiers are buried. It was an emotional experience to say the least. Of the eight Israelis who were with us on the trip, every single one knew at least one person buried in the cemetery. I remember standing in a grassy area above all the graves, talking to one of the soldiers on my trip, Ivan. He looked at me very matter-of-factly and said: "This is grass now, but it will be filled with bodies soon." I got chills.

There is death on both sides. No life is worth more than another. Maybe this ground invasion is wrong. I don't know. I am struggling with this. I told Sara I didn't know how to write about it, or if I would be able to deal with any backlash, and she told me I didn't have to. I suppose I don't, really. But I do. Because if I am silent, I am standing by. If I do not voice my opinion, I am allowing others to take it away from me. I do not believe it is wrong for Israel to exist, and I do not believe it is foolish to hope that one day, Israel can exist in peace. I support Israel, and while I do not feel that means it is exempt from criticism, I do feel that it has become very important to be clear in this matter. Currently, it feels as though a lot of the world does not support Israel. I do.

As it must be clear from this disjointed post, I am having a difficult time with this. I have been reading different news sources constantly, trying to get a grip. 

Thus far, the most compelling article (demonstrating the thoughts I wish I could so eloquently construct) is one that was written for the London Times by Daniel Finkelstein: Israel acts because the world won't defend it. I encourage everyone to take the time to read it, whether you have made your decision about the conflict or not. The article, perhaps, is what I wish this post could be.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Haiku, Part 2: Problem Solved

LOL-LO-
L-LOL-LOL!
They defriended me.

Clearly my brain is taking a short hiatus before London. Actual content to come soon, maybe.

Monday, January 5, 2009

Millennial Haiku

When is it okay
to defriend someone on Face-
book? Your input, please.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

I also resolve to eat fewer burgers

Some years I say I don't believe in resolutions, and some years I make a million. Usually they all boil down to the same few things: lose weight, read more, be kinder. Not bad goals. This year, however, I am inspired by one of my best friends: Get a new type!

Such a valid goal. "No more Bergers!" says Nina. Well I said that months ago, and not only am I still attracted to the clever and handsome yet ultimately insecure writerly types who would have no qualms dumping me via Post-It, I actually fucking hooked up with someone named Berger in 2008. Not that he resembled the stereotypical-SATC-Berger at all, but really, am I crazy? I swear off "Berger Types" and then fall into bed with a real one? Genius.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Aidans not Bergers. Aidans not Bergers. Aidans not Bergers. And British men trump all.

So here's to resolutely attempting to make 2009 romantically successful. And you know, I'll hope to get skinny and read more and not be a bitch...the usual promises.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Clarification, unrelated to feminism

One of my best friends has been feeling romantically lonely lately, and whenever she mentions not having a special someone, I recommend she buy a vibrator.

The clarification I want to touch upon is why I recommend masturbation. My friend usually gets aggravated when I suggest it, insisting "that won't make me feel better." I understand her point. She wants to love and be loved, she wants companionship, she wants security, she wants a relationship. She does not want a quick orgasm, because that will not induce any of these feelings. In this sense, a casual hook up would be a useless suggestion as well, because it provides none of the emotional benefits she's seeking.

I always end up feeling bad, because I think I upset her, and that's not the intent of my recommendation. I never mean "buy a vibrator because giving yourself an orgasm will replace your desire for love." Obviously if it were as simple as that I'd have given up all desire to find "Mr. Right" years ago. But no, all I mean is, "buy a vibrator because giving yourself an orgasm rocks and you will feel happy and less stressed if you orgasm once a day, and frankly, I think the world would be a better place if everyone orgasmed at least once a day, so let's get this party started!"

That's all I really mean when I suggest everyone invest in the Rabbit. It's less of a solution to her specific problem and more of a general attempt to cure the world of all evil.

Friday, January 2, 2009

Officially entering Panic Mode

So despite my friend Anusha's totally valid advice (what more does one need in life besides hot Brits and hard alcohol?) I am stressed. In fact, a better description might be very-incredibly-to-the-point-of-intense-stomach-pains-and-anxiety-attacks stressed. I need to get my ass, along with 2 suitcases filled with stuff I will need for the next four months, to England in 12 days. I need to be prepared, both in the material things sense and the emotional/mental sense. I am none of the above. I feel fucked. I know it will all be fine, but for the next 12 days, I will be in Panic Mode. Which will hopefully speed up my metabolism along with my heart, thus helping me shed a few pounds in anticipation of wow-ing said Hot British Boys.

Which is all to say...I probably won't be posting much for the first two weeks of the new year. Apologies to my loyal readers, all ten of you. You'll survive without me I'm sure, and next time we meet people will be saying things like "Cheers" to me and I'll be dealing with pounds not dollars, and quite frankly I'll probably be a big mess and wishing I was in New York City. But I hear that's how it's supposed to go at first, so try not to worry too much when I send messages across the internet begging you to come to London and bring me home...I won't mean it. I hope.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Happy New Year!

My mother keeps telling me she has a premonition that I will go to London and find my future husband and then "we can all move there and we can have British grandkids!" My premonition for 2009 is somewhat less specific...I just sense good things. Here's to hoping I'm right (okay fine, and maybe to hoping my mom's crazy ideas are a little bit right too...though I would settle for a non-crazy roommate and a hot boyfriend, not necessarily a husband and kids.) Time will tell!